so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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