i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
