He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
