Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
