Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
