Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
