It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
