the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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