You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
