He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
