just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
