I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
