Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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