Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Text me some of your sweat
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
