oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
