She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
