Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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