Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
