Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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