How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
