One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
