Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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