There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
