dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
