it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
