My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i think my cat just said my name.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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