She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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