Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
