I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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