Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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