plz talk dirty to me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
