Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
