I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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