Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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