Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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