I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
