i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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