God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
