Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
