i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
