You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
