is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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