just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
