There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize
