I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I love you.
Bad choice
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