"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
