why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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