there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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