I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
