chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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