My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
