shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
